"Would you eat this?"

Well I already know Tommy's answer because let's face it LOL he will eat anything. I can not do fish of any kind (unless it is a shell fish like crab or lobster) so knowing this had salmon made it even worse. I will not mention what the crap she has on this looks like to me LOL. Especially the little bubble thing at the bottom left side ;O)

Harold & Kumar

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay opens today!!

Now this really has got to be the funniest I have read ina long time

Sorry for the run-on words I had to copy and paste it out of a pogo email. But my stomach hurts from laughing.

Hair Removal.... All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on... My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your Hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure This out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck Together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the Strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin Extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRRRIIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.... OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the Strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe............ OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - A wax-covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now Covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest damn water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the Wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or Sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located,"Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now.....I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY STARS!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE........ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color...... SIPPING VODKA

When one of your fears comes true

I admit to occasionally leaving the house in my pajama's to pick my son up or grab something to eat at a drive-thru, stuff like that, nothing where I ever have to get out of the car and risk being seen. When I do this I always make a silent wish that I won't break down, get pulled or or have an accident. My luck ran out after picking my son up from karate one night recently when I was broadsided by a little old lady whose glasses had to be 5-inches thick. After she hit me I pulled into the 7-11 to survey the damage. The parking lot was lit up like it was the middle of the day and there I am in my pajama's in the middle of the 7-11 parking lot looking like a bag lady. Then the little old lady had the nerve to ask me where I came from!! Ummm sweetie you hit me broadside, you were coming at me like a misile how did you not see me? Then she said she must have a blind spot. I'll say you do!! Your whole windshield is a blind spot obviously! Luckily the damage was very minor, we exchanged our insurance info and went on our way.

I'll probably still go out in my pajama's from time to time lol

Brazilian priest carried aloft by balloons disappears

SAO PAULO, Brazil — A Roman Catholic priest who floated off under hundreds of helium party balloons was missing today off the southern coast of Brazil.
Rescuers in helicopters and small fishing boats were searching off the coast of Santa Catarina state, where pieces of balloons were found.
Rev. Adelir Antonio de Carli lifted off from the port city of Paranagua on Sunday afternoon, wearing a helmet, thermal suit and a parachute.
He was reported missing about eight hours later after losing contact with port authority officials, according to the treasurer of his Sao Cristovao parish, Denise Gallas.
Gallas said by telephone that the priest wanted to break a 19-hour record for the most hours flying with balloons to raise money for a spiritual rest-stop for truckers in Paranagua, Brazil's second-largest port for agricultural products.
Some American adventurers have used helium balloons to emulate Larry Walters — who in 1982 rose three miles above Los Angeles in a lawn chair lifted by balloons.
A video of Carli posted on the G1 Web site of Globo TV showed the smiling 41-year-old priest slipping into a flight suit, being strapped to a seat attached to a huge column green, red, white and yellow balloons, and soaring into the air to the cheers of a crowd.
According to Gallas, the priest soared to an altitude of 20,000 feet (6,000 meters) then descended to about 8,200 feet (2,500 meters) for his planned flight to the city of Dourados, 465 miles (750 kilometers) northwest of his parish.
But winds pushed him in another direction, and Carli was some 30 miles (50 kilometers) off the coast when he last contacted Paranagua's port authority, Gallas said.
Carli had a GPS device, a satellite phone, a buoyant chair and is an experienced skydiver, Gallas said.
"We are absolutely confident he will be found alive and well, floating somewhere in the ocean," she said.
"He knew what he was doing and was fully prepared for any kind of mishap."

I hope they find the guy but this story amuses me thinking of a priest (and if you know me you know how I feel about catholics and priests in general) wearing a helmet and being carried away by a giant bouquet of balloons lmao.

Would You Eat This???

Sorry I have been out of town and unable to do this while I was away. But here is this weeks edition. I will let you guess what this is.. and it isn't a lump of lard even though that is what it is looking like to me LOL

Ok because Tommy posted

this on his blog and I think it is way too funny I had to grab it to and get it over here.

Now this

is funny. But I am with Franky on this one for sure!! ;O)

http://americancomedynetwork.com/animation.html?bit_id=25239

This weeks "Would you eat this"

was a toss up so I decided what the hell let's go for 2 of them. The first one looks like someone took a dump after eating peanuts to me and the second... well we are still trying to figure out why the hell you would put mashed potatoes on a plate with cake. Ok I know it is really ice cream but tell me that does not look EXACTLY like mashed potatoes ;O)

OK now this is scary

3rd-Graders Allegedly Plotted To Attack Teacher

WAYCROSS, Ga. -- Police say they have questioned a group of south Georgia third-graders about a plot to attack their teacher, apparently because she had scolded one of them for standing on a chair. The nine students are too young to be charged with a crime under Georgia law, a prosecutor told the Times-Union of Jacksonville, Fla. They include girls and boys, ages 8 and 9. Authorities withheld the Center Elementary School students' names.Waycross Police Chief Tony Tanner called the plot a serious threat that involved an attack on the teacher. "We did not hear anybody say they intended to kill her, but could they have accidentally killed her? Absolutely," Tanner said. "We feel like if they weren't interrupted, there would have been an attempt. Would they have been successful? We don't know." Tanner said the scheme involved a division of roles. One child's job was to cover windows so no one could see outside, he said. One was assigned to clean up the blood after the attack. Tanner says school officials alerted police last week after a pupil tipped off a teacher that a girl had brought a weapon to school."We estimate between six to nine students were involved. We're not sure at this point in the investigation how many of the students actually knew the intent was to hurt the teacher," Tanner told the Times-Union.Officials said the parents of the students have cooperated with investigators. By law police officials cannot question children without their parents' or guardians' consent. He says police seized a broken steak knife, handcuffs, duct tape, electrical and transparent tape, ribbons and a crystal paperweight from the students, who apparently intended to use them against the teacher. The alleged target was a veteran educator who teaches third-grade students with a range of learning disabilities, including attention deficit disorder, delayed development and hyperactivity, friends and parents said. Tanner said the plot apparently began taking shape last week after the teacher chastised a girl about standing on a chair. Police expected to forward the results of their investigation to prosecutors, Tanner said. Children in Georgia can't be charged with a crime unless they are at least 13, District Attorney Rick Currie said. Theresa Martin, spokeswoman for the Ware County school system, told The Florida Times-Union of Jacksonville, Fla., that administrators would follow school system policy and state law in disciplining the students. "From what I understand, they were considered pretty good kids," Martin said. "But we have to take this seriously, whether they were serious or not about carrying this through, and that's what we did." Four mothers of other third-grade students at Center Elementary called for the immediate expulsion of the suspected plotters. Stacy Carter and Deana Hiott both cited school system policy stating that any student who brings "anything reasonably considered to be a weapon" is to be expelled for at least the remainder of the school year. "We don't want our children around them," said Carter, who learned about the incident from a teacher at the school Friday night. "The one with the knife could have stabbed my child or someone else's child at lunch or out on the playground." "This is an isolated incident, an aberration. ... We have good kids," said Center Principal Angie Coleman.

This is incredible

Ok I LOVE American Idol and this guy just floors me with how good he is. What he did with song just makes me say WOW this is a star in the making. I can not wait until he comes out with an album. OMG he is GOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!

My ever pondering questions

Why in the hell do they call a Red Bud tree and a red onion red? Okay I know I am NOT color blind. They are PURPLE!!!

Who decided that bad words where bad? I mean when did someone decide Bitch was a bad word and why? Or any of the others? That just has always been an ever pondering question.

Anyone know the answers to these?

Vacations

So I was gone all last week to see my mom. Have not been to see her is about 2 years. I know that is sad but very true. Boy it is hard when you parents start getting old. Ok she is old but I mean looking old. Was hard for me to deal with. Guess as kids we don't want to see our parents age. But how do you tell your parents they need Miracle Ear? OMG her TV was so loud I thought at times it would break my ear drums. And I always felt like I was screaming and not actually talking. She for sure needs a hearing aid but no clue how to even approach the subject without hurting her feelings. Any ideas out there?